i haven’t been feeling well the whole day because of lack of sleep… i dozed off at about 2:30 am kanina… when i woke up, my head was really aching…

guess who i had been thinking about since 9pm yesterday… well, i bet u all don’t know him… i don’t understand why but i’ve been thinking about wilbert lately… so who’s he?… he was my suitor back when i was a freshman in college… that time he was a criminology student at u.m., can’t remember what year level… well, i don’t miss him… i don’t… yes, i actually don’t… but why am i still thinking about him?! i’m even sure i’m not in love with him… never… ever! ano ngayon kung baby-face(d) sya, maputi, makinis, matangkad, neat, at mapula ang lips… pero sobrang mahinhin naman… talagang-talaga! na para bang bading?! naka-cross legged pag nakaupo at palaging may clean, white hanky… syempre hindi ko sure kung talagang bading yun, kasi nga nawalan kami ng communication after ko na-basted… haay…

but u know what, at one point i thought i was gonna break my promise to my mom na i will never have a boyfriend until i finish my college education… muntikan na kasi akong napasagot nun… pero kinaya ko naman… di ako nagpadala… may mga ibang lumapit, pero di ko na pinansin…

so ano to? feeling ko ba na sinayang ko ang pagkakataon dahil ngayong tapos na ako sa college eh loveless pa rin ako? ganun ba yun? o baka sobra lang akong naiinggit sa mga romantic TV dramas and movies (my girl, secret garden, notting hill, peach girl, etc.) na napapanuod ko araw-araw kaya ako nagda-drama ng ganito? yun na nga siguro… my goodness, i don’t wanna oblige myself and look for a partner just because i look pathetic walking or eating or watching movies ALONE…

my cousin allen just ‘text-ed’ me to find a bf just so i would get inspired to work my butt off and lose weight ’cause i’m big as a couch!… and to add insult to injury, a midwife even commented that i look like an impregnated pig… okay, i’m crying now!